Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The Axeman Speaks 10-31-07

The opinions expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect the opinion of Hollywood Jimmy Blaylock, the Webmaster, or anyone else connected with this site. They are mine, and mine alone. If you agree with me, OK, and if you don’t, that’s OK. The fact is, when Axeman writes it, you read it, and that’s what counts. So, love me or hate me, here we go….
I have read with interest the comments about the XOW show Saturday night. I also read the comments, good and bad, about Psycho. Now, I was unable to attend the XOW show because the individual I was supposed to ride with decided to go to Tunica instead, and did not think to tell me. I probably won't ride with him anymore, lol. It sounds like it was a pretty decent show, although it ran a little too long. I will try to be at the next XOW show.
The negative comments about Psycho really blow my mind. In my opinion he is one of the best around. I have seen Psycho in some classic matches, everything from singles action to tag matches to hardcore. He has always been entertaining, and is almost always a crowd favorite wherever he goes. So why all this hatin' on Psycho? Storm, on the message board, said it best:
"The people who say that about Psycho are the same people who are terrified to get in the ring with him. That's a fact. The man knows what he's doing in that ring. If you don't believe it, get in the ring with him. If not, then just say you're scared and be done with it."
OK, I am going to say a few things about the TFW show this past Friday night. First of all, Tony Watts, although one of your goons got me from behind, you still did not interfere in that match. I thoroughly enjoyed trying to knock some sense into you. I will not hesitate to do it again if you don't clean up your act. By the way, the brick you threw through my windshield Friday night will eventually end up back in your possession. How and when, well, that's for me to know. When it is time for you to know, you will find out.
I posted a picture on the news board a few days ago, hoping someone could help identify the wrestler. I called the individual who sent it to me and asked if he could provide any information as to how old it is. He said it has "Nacogdoches, Texas '72" written on the back of it. There have been several interesting guesses, including "Lord Humongous 30 years ago," The Masked Marquis de Sade (I never heard of him), Jason Voorhees, and JD McKay even suggested it is me, lol. Anyone else have any ideas? The individual who owns the photo is writing a book about the history of wrestling in Texas and would like to identify the worker.
This week's humor was sent in by Andrea DePriest. A NUN and A CABBIE: A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." The cabbie says, "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that - #1, you have to be single, and #2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!" The nun says, OK, pull in to the next alley." The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?" The cabbie says, "Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Baptist." The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."
Well, Booker T and Scott Hall are on their way to TNA. You can expect to see them both on Impact soon. I wonder, though, how they can afford Booker T? Scott Hall probably is not that expensive, but Booker prolly cost a pretty penny. Oh, I know, they parted company with Junior Fatu, but they were not paying him all that much, that's why he is gone. He wanted more, and they said no. So how can they afford Booker? TNA has never operated in the black that I know of. How can they afford the likes of Sting, Angle, Team 3-D, The Steiners, and all the other guys, and now Booker? Hmmm....
I was surprised to read that Nick Dinsmore, better known as Eugene in WWE, has been hired as the OVW Beginner Class Trainer. Who expected that? Didn't WWE just fire Dinsmore because of wellness policy violations? Now, just a few weeks later, he's back teaching the beginners in OVW. Well, it is WWE!
Speaking of WWE, I would be willing to bet that the RAW ratings go way, way up Monday night, when Stone Cold returns and DX reunites. Do you think Vince will get the message? I hope so, but I doubt it. I just don't know how many more stupid ladies costume battle royals I can take. Not to mention how many more stupid Hornswaggle segments we have to suffer through. Please, Vince, listen to the fans.
It's time for YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID! This week we focus on Ken Charles Barger, 47, who accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton , NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith &
Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
That’s all for this week. If you have any responses, feedback, criticism,compliments, or whatever, send ‘em to axemanchopchop@yahoo.com. Who knows, you might actually get a reply.
Happy Halloween, everyone!

The Axeman has spoken.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Axeman Speaks 10-27-07

As you have seen, this edition of Axeman Speaks has absolutely nothing to do with professional wrestling.

The historic photos above and information below were emailed to me by a friend. I found them to be very interesting, and so I am passing them on.

These Pearl Harbor photos were recently found in an old Brownie camera stored in a foot locker since 1941. They were taken by a sailor who was on the USS Quapaw ATF-110 during the bombing of Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. It is amazing that the film was still good enough to produce these spectacular photos. Pay attention to the old vehicles and the number of ships that were in that harbor at that time. Also note the ship casualty list that follows.
On Sunday, December 7th, 1941 the Japanese launched a surprise attack against the U.S. Forces stationed at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. By planning his attack on a Sunday, the Japanese commander Admiral Nagumo, hoped to catch the entire fleet in port. As luck would have it, the Aircraft Carriers and one of the Battleships were not in port. (The USS Enterprise was returning from Wake Island, where it had just delivered some aircraft. The USS Lexington was ferrying aircraft to Midway, and the USS Saratoga and USS Colorado were undergoing repairs in the United States).
In spite of the latest intelligence reports about the missing aircraft carriers (his most important targets), Admiral Nagumo decided to continue the attack with his force of six carriers and 423 aircraft. At a range of 230 miles north of Oahu, he launched the first wave of a two-wave attack.
Beginning at 0600 hours his first wave consisted of 183 fighters and torpedo bombers which struck at the fleet in Pearl Harbor and the airfields in Hickam, Kaneohe and Ewa. The second strike, launched at 0715 hours, consisted of 167 aircraft, which again struck at the same targets.
At 0753 hours the first wave consisting of 40 Nakajima B5N2 "Kate" torpedo bombers, 51 Aichi D3A1 "Val " dive bombers, 50 high altitude bombers and 43 Zeros struck airfields and Pearl Harbor. Within the next hour, the second wave arrived and continued the attack. When it was over, the U.S. losses were:
USArmy 218 KIA, 364 WIA.
USN: 2,008 KIA, 710 WIA.
USMC: 109 KIA, 69 WIA.
Civilians: 68 KIA, 35 WIA.
TOTAL: 2,403 KIA, 1,178 WIA.
USS Arizona (BB-39) - Total loss when a bomb hit her magazine.
USS Oklahoma (BB-37) - Total loss when she capsized and sunk in the harbor.
USS California (BB-44) - Sunk at her berth. Later raised and repaired.
USS West Virginia (BB-48) - Sunk at her berth. Later raised and repaired.
USS Nevada - (BB-36) Beached to prevent sinking. Later repaired.
USS Pennsylvania (BB-38) - Light damage.
USS Maryland (BB-46) - Light damage.
USS Tennessee (BB-43) Light damage.
USS Utah (AG-16) - (former battleship used as a target) - Sunk.
USS New Orleans (CA-32) - Light Damage.
USS San Francisco (CA38) - Light Damage.
USS Detroit (CL-8) - Light Damage.
USS Raleigh (CL-7) - Heavily damaged but repaired.
USS Helena (CL-50) - Light Damage.
USS Honolulu (CL-48) - Light Damage.
USS Downes (DD-375) - Destroyed. Parts salvaged.
USS Cassin - (DD-37 2) Destroyed. Parts salvaged.
USS Shaw (DD-373) - Very heavy damage.
USS Helm (DD-388) - Light Damage.
USS Ogala (CM-4) - Sunk but later raised and repaired.
Seaplane Tender
USS Curtiss (AV-4) - Severely damaged but later repaired.
Repair Ship
USS Vestal (AR-4) - Severely damaged but later repaired.
Harbor Tug
USS Sotoyomo (YT-9) - Sunk but later raised and repaired.
188 Aircraft destroyed (92 USN and 92 U.S. Army Air Corps).

Sunday, October 21, 2007

The Axeman Speaks 10-23-07

Greetings, wrestleholics!

Would you believe... I received an instant message from GQ Maxim last week. Would you believe... He wants an interview?! Well, GQ, here's my answer: NO. I only do interviews with people who have made some kind of contribution to wrestling, and that ain't you, bubba.

Well, I see that Haywood Jablomi did not take me up on my challenge to write a column. I didn't think he would. With that, I will end the folly of responding to his bullshit. First of all, I refuse to believe that Haywood Jablomi is his real name. No parent would name a kid that. Second, it is obvious that, whoever he is, he is never going to appear at GTW in West Point to back up what he says. In fact, he will never go anywhere to back up anything he says. So, with that, I close the book on Haywood. He can post what he wants, but from this point on I will ignore him.

That brings me to Tony "the Weasel" Watts. Yes, friends, I gave him a little surprise Friday night at TFW when I prevented him from interfering in a match. Oh boy, is he mad. Well, I don't care. I will be handcuffed to him during the Neil Taylor vs. Fusion match at TFW this Friday night to make sure he does not stick his nose into things again. Banana Nose says it won't happen, but I assure you, my friends, it will. By the way, TFW match results are posted on the news board.

Speaking of TFW, I want to take this opportunity to congratulate TFW on their 5th Anniversary! It is hard to believe that TFW has been around for that long... It seems like only yesterday that they were starting up! The TFW show Friday night will not only be TFW's Halloween show, it will also be their 5th Anniversary celebration as well. Check the write up on the News Board for all the details. I am happy to have a small part in TFW, and I hope to be with TFW for a long time. I'm having a blast!

Chuck Taylor, Ricochet, UltraMantis Black, and Hydra from CHIKARA (and maybe more Chikara stars) will appear at the TFW show in Tupelo 11-30-07. It will be a great show, so don't miss it!

GTW had a good show Saturday night in West Point. There were no bad matches, and everyone there seemed to enjoy the show. There was a costume contest prior to the show, and, I am told, a lot of fun was had by all. I enjoyed announcing there Saturday night. I don't know when I will be back there, but I will try to get back soon. Match results are posted on the news board.

One individual I am impressed with at GTW is... believe it or not... Jay Webster. I always liked him, he's a nice guy and fun to be around, and he has often been entertaining in the ring with some of his antics, but not particularly impressive as a wrestler. But he did try hard, and was slowly getting better. Since going to GTW and turning heel, however, I was shocked that he has actually learned some things about how to work a crowd, and has continued to improve as a wrestler. Now, a WWE star he ain't, and never will be. His size prevents him from ever going beyond local indy wrestling. He is, however, much improved. I never thought I would be saying this, but I was impressed with Webster and his progress.

WWE Hall of Fame member Bobby "The Brain" Heenan recently had surgery on his jaw. The surgery was to replace his jaw bone with bone taken from his hip. I would like to take this opportunity to wish him a speedy recovery.

It's time for YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID. This week we focus on James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, who was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath, so that he could ascertain the source of a noise. Burns clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."

Much has been said and written about the low ratings of WWE RAW the past several weeks. Apparently nobody at WWE can understand why the ratings are so low, because I have seen no changes on RAW. Here is what is wrong: Hornswaggle as Vince McMahon's bastard son... stupid. It's getting old, Vince. We've had enough. Vince McMahon acting like a royal SOB... We've seen it for years. It's getting old. But Vince will continue to appear on RAW, because, unfortunately, he is WWE's #1 heel. William Regal as GM of RAW... stupid. Jonathan Coachman... stupid. Coachman as Regal's flunky... even more stupid. Ric Flair gone... stupid. Whatever it takes, get him back. Booker T gone... unfortunate. WWE should never have suspended him for 60 days. WWE has now, probably, lost him to TNA. Cena out with an injury... the timing could not have been worse. Orton as Champion... it's working for now, but it won't for long. Umaga... boring, it's getting old, Vince. Vince having HHH beaten up all the time... stupid; it ain't working, so it's time HHH kicks ass. The solution: Get out of the way, Vince. Get off of RAW completely.You stayed off RAW Monday night, so stay gone for a long time. Let your creative staff be creative. Listen to Dusty Rhodes. Keep Stephanie out of the way. She knows not what she is doing. Use HBK in a way that is entertaining; we are tired of seeing him get beaten up, so let him whip ass. Use Kennedy in a way that is entertaining. Perhaps putting the Intercontinental belt on him is a good start. Bring back DX. Think outside the box. Cody Rhodes & Bob Holly teaming up is a good idea, IF you will put them in the ring with some legitimate competition. Bring back Trish Stratus, even if it costs you lots of greenbacks. How about Stone Cold Steve Austin as GM of RAW? How about using Hacksaw Jim Duggan more? Seems to me that he is getting a bigger pop from the crowd than a lot of the other WWE guys are. Here is a radical thought: ASK the fans what they want, and then GIVE IT TO THEM. Food for thought.... Of course, it IS Vince and WWE we are talking about, so it will never happen....

ECW isn't any better. What a weak talent roster they have now, compared to just a few short months ago. RVD is gone. There are those who say he will return, but I don't see it happening any time soon. We are about tired of seeing CM Punk. Sabu is gone. In fact, most of the ECW "originals" are gone. In an effort to do something to get the ECW ratings up, WWE is beginning to "exchange" Smackdown and ECW talent, meaning Smackdown stars will appear on ECW, and ECW stars will appear on Smackdown. I predict a lot more Smackdown stars on ECW than the other way around. This move may have worked, because, in spite of crappy ratings, WWE has announced that ECW will remain on Sci Fi through 2008. Their current contract expires at the end of December. It will be interesting to see if WWE actually combines SD & ECW eventually. They might as well, because the two brands travel together, do house shows together, and now this new "arrangement." We will see what happens....

Candice Michelle was injured during her match with Beth Phoenix on RAW Monday night. She had a nasty fall from the top rope on her shoulder which knocked her out. She was taken to a hospital for evaluation, and she was later diagnosed with a concussion and a broken collar bone.
According to reports on WWE .com, she will be out of action for 4 to 6 weeks. That's unfortunate, and I wish her a speedy recovery. I like the girl.

RAW actually was a little better (in my opinion) this week, although the ratings did not change much. Mickie James, London, & Kendrick vs. Melina, Cade, & Murdoch was not a bad match at all. Mickie James looked especially good. Cody Rhodes v. Shelton Benjamin was OK. Harry Smith defeating WWE's biggest jobber Carlito was decent also. Look for bigger things from this guy. Ron Simmons vs. Santino Marella was kind of stupid, but in an entertaining sort of way. I do wish Marella would just go away. Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle was a decent match, until Candice's fall. I was a little surprised that Beth Phoenix did not seem to know what to do when told that Candice was hurt. Grabbing her by the hair and pulling her head up was not the thing to do. Shawn Michaels & Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton & Ken Kennedy was a pretty good match, although HBK does not seem to be at full steam or something. He seems a little rusty, or his timing is off, or something. Umaga vs. Hornswaggle never happened, but the brawl ans subsequent pull apart between HHH and Umaga was great.

OK, on to TNA.... Apparently, the warring factions within TNA have kissed and made up, at least for now. The Jeff Jarrett faction and the Kurt Angle faction reportedly have "worked things out." For how long, I wonder?

During the past couple of weeks, we have been seeing a little of Talia Madison on TNA. Well, she is now an "official" member of the TNA family. She has announced on her official MySpace page that she has signed with TNA Wrestling.

I don't know about you, but I am tired of seeing Abyss get screwed over or beaten up all the time. It's time TNA lets him do a little ass whipping.

All in all, I think the 2 hour Impact shows have been good. There is a little too much Russo, in my opinion, in the shows so far, but I have seen worse. There are some things that really don't seem to make sense, like on this past week's Impact, Team 3-D squashing the MCMG's and calling out the X-Division, where is TNA going with that? It has no purpose that I can see, but maybe they have something in mind. The only way I see it working is building to a Team 3-D vs. MCMG feud. TNA is bad about starting something and then seemingly forgetting about it and going in another direction. I hope this is not the case here. Awesome Kong squashing Talia Madison was to be expected since TNA is obviously trying to build up Kong. But GEEZ, that Talia is hot! Storm & Rood vs. Harris & Rhino was a pretty good tag match. The champions ceremony was good, but I thought it ran too long. Kazarian vs. Lance Hoyt was a ho hum match. Nothing to write home about. Disco Inferno vs. Abyss was... well... WHY is Disco Inferno in TNA? I just don't see him fitting in anywhere. Abyss destroyed him, then Black Reign came in and destroyed Abyss. The rat in the bag on the head thing was a little bit strange. The Black Reign gimmick is the best gimmick I have seen Runnels do. Christian Cage vs. Samoa Joe was decent, but there we go with those blasted run-ins again. It was a great match until that crap started. Over all I give it a positive rating, even with the flaws. Their back stage stuff just plain sucks eggs.

On to the joke of pro wrestling in the Mid-South right now, MAW. They had an anniversary show this past weekend. Only six people paid to see the show. Needless to say, somebody lost their ass. Why have a show if you are not going to promote it? How do they expect people to know about the show, telepathy? It is rumored that MAW is done. If so, it is not unexpected. The group has not had what I would call a successful show in a long time. Give it up.

Well, the VCW/SCW saga continues... Volunteer Championship Wrestling supposedly became Southeastern Championship Wrestling when Billy Ray Hickerson teamed up with Ricky Guys. According to a report by BT at www.rasslinriotonline, "apparently the SCW name was owned by another person and he wanted a piece of the pie if they were going to run shows in Tennessee with Guys." The report also says that Hickerson is having trouble reaching Guys, because Guys is not answering his phone. So the show will go on as planned this Saturday in Selmer, TN, at 12:00 noon, under the VCW banner. Guys will have no part in it. Hickerson is better off without Ricky Guys.

The show of the weekend for this part of the country is XOW in Independence, MS, at Independence Middle School Gym. Bell time is 8:00. On the card are "Superstar" Bill Dundee, Grady Watson, Sarge O'Reilly, Hollywood Jimmy Blaylock, "Bad Attitude" Tony Dabbs, "The Studd" Scott Porteau, Max & John Steele, "Prime Time" Nick Grimes, "Southern Thunder" Chris Kilgore, Colton Anderson, Wraith, Chris Styles, Anton Levigh, Tat2, Josh Matthews, Anita Page, Brandon Barbwire, Uncle Felton, Giant Hillbilly, and more! There will be a Halloween Costume Contest - Best dressed gets $100! Tickets are $8.00, $5.00 for students. It will be a great show, so BE THERE if you can!

This week's humor was sent in by Andrea Depriest:

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused when on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested and charged with sexual harassment. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said: The Double Mint Twins are Coming, and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said: Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling, and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, William's Big Stick Did the Trick, and I could hardly contain myself. BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, Goodyear rubber could have prevented this accident... I just lost it." The judge, laughing, said, "CASE DISMISSED!!"

The 8th and final segment of the interview with Studd will be up in a few days. More interviews and articles will follow in my In the Spotlight column.

That's all for this week. If you have any feedback, email me at axemanchopchop@yahoo.com. I will be answering emails in a column in the near future. I have not done that in a long time.

We are one more column closer to the final one!

The Axeman has spoken.

Monday, October 15, 2007

The Axeman Speaks October 16, 2007

(My grandson, Isaak)

Greetings Earthlings! We have a lot to talk about, so we'll start with some idiots (Cannon calls them "Nuts of the Week," I call 'em idiots).

The following post appeared on the message board last week:
Name: Haywood Jablomi
Date: Wed Oct 10 09:43:41 2007
Comment: hey omega why does everyone hate you? do they think you & me are the same ppl, hey axeman get my name right, its "J A B L O M I" don,t give me a reason to pick on you, your messing with the meanest, baddest person that has ever walked the face of the earth, and this go's out to all you other jabroney wannabe's...rite-here-at-ya"(the-bird sign)HAHAHAHAHAHa.

Now, that's gotta be the worst bunch of spelling blunders and bad grammar I have ever seen. It rivals Cannon's posts (LOL). But bad grammar and spelling aside, Haywood Jablomi dared to threaten me. Look, idiot, you are showing just how stupid you really are with all your idiotic posts. You come on the board and make threats which, of course, you never carry out. You are the self proclaimed "meanest, baddest person that has ever walked the face of the earth." Well, I will give you some advice, which I suggest you pay close attention to. Don't threaten me. Do you understand that, Haywired Jalopy? I hope so.

Here is another post on the message board by the aforementioned idiot:

Name: Haywood Jablomi
Date: Fri Oct 12 23:14:38 2007
Comment: J.D McKay you one thing we both agree on "HEAT". Heat can only come from a true hill, I piss anyone off, anytime, anywhere. I am the best of the best all hands down. The shows some promotions do are so damn lame, it runs fans off. People want to see real action not fakey crap.

So, Haywired, heat can only come from a true "hill." What a profound statement. Obviously, when he is riding in his car and goes up a hill, he feels heat. When he goes down a hill, he feels heat. When he sees a hill in the distance, he feels heat. Not just any hill, mind you, it has to be a "true hill." I am sure this poor, unfortunate Haywired's life is a major uphill battle, so I am sure he really feels a lot of heat. That explains why he is so full of hot air.

I also read Omega's statement on the board about the comments made in my last column. Apparently, Omega felt like I had accused him of something, which just ain't so. I had written about a half page response to his post, but I will not include it in this or any future column. Omega was apparently acting on second hand information, which was not accurate. He posted the following on the message board last week:

Name: omega
Country: to axeman
Date: Tue Oct 9 13:46:29 2007
Comment: when i'm wrong i'll say i'm wrong....so i apologize to you for jumping your as# i was working under wrong info. but to clear something up i was not "unprofessional" a couple of weeks ago...there is more than what is being told. again i'm sorry!

Apology accepted, Omega. You say there is more to the story than what is being told. If that is the case, tell me what you have to say about the rest of the story. I would love to know. So, I am sure, would my readers.

OK, on to other stuff....

Kevin Nash's contract with TNA has expired. He did work the Pay Per View Sunday, although he is no longer under contract. Nash is currently in the process of negotiating a new contract with TNA. Vince Russo wants Nash to return to in ring work. Nash is apparently healthy and not at all opposed to wrestling again, but in order for him to return to the ring, he wants more money. He will get it. Plans are already on the drawing board for matches with Kurt Angle & Sting. Look for an announcement of an agreement being reached in the near future. Nash apparently wants to bring in Scott Hall and Sean Waltman. Both are good ideas.

Ric Flair will return to WWE at some point in the future. What his role will be is not clear, but he has been doing a few autograph signings and such for WWE, and I believe he will return in some capacity. Flair is in the enviable position of WWE needing him a lot worse than he needs WWE right now. I do hope he gets one more title run in WWE.

John Graziano, Nick Hogan's passenger in the August car accident, will not, according to reports, ever recover from his brain injuries. The damage is permanent, and he will be in a nursing home for the rest of his life. Graziano's parents, who are separated, are fighting it out in court as to who should be his legal guardian. That is very sad. The entire situation is really sad. The Hogans are apparently still very close to the Graziano family in spite of all that has happened. The investigation into the crash is continuing, and Nick could face criminal charges when the investigation is concluded. It has been said that something good comes out of every situation, no matter how bad it is. I just don't see anything good coming from this. (Partial credit: http://www.wrestlinginc.com/).

It's time for YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID! This week we feature... Sandman! Yes, friends, Sandman did a stupid thing, and he paid for it by getting what he foolishly asked for. "When some of the WWE stars were on tour in South Africa in early September, Sandman got drunk with some of the wrestlers before a flight. Road agent Ricky Steamboat was sitting in front of a wasted Sandman. Sandman put an unlit cigarette in his mouth and Steamboat turned around to tell him that you can't smoke on an airplane. Sandman scoffed back at Steamboat by saying that the cigarette wasn't lit and that he didn't have a lighter on him anyways. It was simply in his mouth for the 'taste'. Ahh, addictions. Anyways, on one of the shows on the tour, due to time constraints, some wrestlers were pulled from the show, including Sandman. Sandman thought it was Steamboat's way of getting back at him. He then called Johnny Ace asking for his release from WWE. A few days later on September 11, Ace gave him his release from the company. Prior to his release, Vince McMahon wanted to turn him heel and give him a significant run on Raw, because the brand is desperately lacking heels. McMahon was a big fan of The Sandman's unique character, hence his promotion from ECW to Raw." Credits: http://www.wrestleview.com/ & http://www.wrestlinginc.com/. Yes, friends, it appears that Sandman is out of WWE because of a "misunderstanding" over an unlit cigarette in his mouth on a plane when he was "wasted." Stupid....

I must address a situation which occurred at TFW this past Friday night. There have been several posts on the message board about a valet at TFW being "too drunk to work." Several have speculated that it was Anita Page. That is TOTALLY INCORRECT. It was NOT Anita page. Anita has always been extremely professional, and Friday night was no exception. Those who were there will remember that Anita did work and did her job well. The other girl, who was in no condition to do anything, was pulled from the show prior to the opening bell and left later. Again, it was NOT Anita Page, and those of you who posted that crap on the board owe Anita an apology.

I must address another situation that occurred at TFW Friday night involving an outright assault by Tony "The Weasel" Watts. First of all, Tony Watts is not employed at TFW. He is the Promoter of XOW Wrestling, so as far as I am concerned he has no stinking business at TFW. Tony Watts asked me to step away from the announcer's table Friday night and talk to him. I assumed he just wanted some time to run his mouth or do an interview. I have interviewed The Weasel many times. However, he brought out Sarge O'Reilly, and proceeded to brag about what a great wrestler he is, and that he had brought Sarge to TFW to prove something. Then... The Weasel slapped me. I did nothing to deserve that. I did nothing to provoke him at all. Then he poured a bottle of water on me. Tony Watts is without a doubt a low life, egg sucking, rotten, stinking, inbred, banana nosed mangy dog. Tony Watts, you will regret what you did.

It is official... Booker T and Sharmell are gone from WWE effective October 28, 2007. Booker issued an official statement, which you can read on the news board. To clear up some confusion, Booker & Sharmell were not fired by WWE, they left. They chose to depart WWE by not coming back from the 60 day suspension, which, by the way, Booker says was completely uncalled for. He says he never used any illegal drugs, and that he never purchased anything from Signature Pharmacy.

According to a post on WWE.com, WWE is apparently running an angle that has Vicki Guerrero and Armando Estrada in negotiations for an agreement which would allow Smackdown and ECW stars to compete on both Tuesday and Friday nights. While I realize this is starting off as an "agreement" angle, I look for the eventual consolidation of Smackdown and ECW into one brand. ECW has become somewhat benign and "in a rut" lately, and has a very weak talent roster in comparison with the other brands. Combining the two brands would make better use of available talent. Combining the two brands would also help get WWE out of the boring rut they seem to be in lately. Let's face it, ECW has never really caught on like WWE wanted it to.

As incredible as it may seem, word has reached me that Steve Creasy is once again going to bring back CCW. Yeah, right! Where have we heard that before?! A local worker told me recently that he has been contacted by Creasy about being booker for CCW. Prediction: It will never happen. We'll see....

This week's humor was sent in by Devon Raynes: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

The next segment of the interview with Stud will be up in a few days. Also coming is an interview with a well-known wrestling personality. Stay tuned, folks....

I was about to end this column when... this post appeared on the message board:

Name: Haywood Jablomi
Date: Tue Oct 16 12:47:54 2007
Comment: We are sick and tired of axeman speaks, time for a new breed, like haywood speaks or doug from west point speaks, at least we would tell the real truth, that is what the fans want, so once a week I will post a column of haywood speaks, an up to date column with the real truth not some lame crap like axwman posts.

LOLOL... so, Haywired, you want to write a column? There is another post on the board which says that before you can write a column you have to know something. Well, idiot, I don't think you know jack, but if you really want to write a column, write it and send it to me at the email address below. I guarantee it will be posted on this site EXACTLY as written. Here are the stipulations: It has to be about wrestling. No vulgarity. No profanity. No racial slurs or remarks. No attacking anybody's family. Deadline is Sunday noon. OK, get to typing! The wrestling world is waiting!

That's all for this edition. If you have any feedback, send it to axemanchopchop @ yahoo.com. I will respond if time permits.

We are now one column closer to the last one.

The Axeman has spoken.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

The Axeman Speaks 10-7-07

(My grandson, Wesley)

The opinions expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect the opinion of Hollywood Jimmy Blaylock, the Webmaster, or anyone else connected with this site. They are mine, and mine alone. If you agree with me, OK, and if you don’t, that’s OK. The fact is, when I write it, all of you read it whether you agree or not, and THAT is what is important.

Greetings, friends. It has been a while since my last update, so we have a lot to talk about, starting with... GTW.

That's right, friends & neighbors, Golden Triangle Wrestling down in West Point has been taking a lot of crap on the message board, primarily from some idiot calling himself "Haywood Jabaloney" or something like that. He was on the board all week long last week running his mouth, making threats, promising to show up at GTW this past Saturday night. He said, "I can tell you whats gonna happen at GTW 10-06-07. I'm coming to take out the trash, I'm fixing to clean house. Its gonna be like UFC I won't be pulling no punches, I'm fixin to close some pie holes and swell some eyes shut. I hope it a packed house. Cause the fans are gonna see me kick some wrestlers ass." Well, needless to say, Haywierd did not show up. I have no idea who this idiot is, but he obviously has way too much time on his hands. As the old saying goes, "Idle minds are the devil's workshop." A number of people I talked to Saturday night in West Point seem to think that Haywired Jabaloney is really Omega. Well, I would hope Omega is more professional than that, but they say he behaved very unprofessionally at GTW several weeks ago, so who knows.... Whoever it is, I hope he will shut up now, because he has shown that he is all talk and no backbone.

As I said above, I did go to the GTW show Saturday night. Was it the best show I have ever seen? Not by a long shot. Was it the worst show I have ever seen? Not by a long shot. With the exception of the first match, it was a decent show. GTW is doing their best to give the fans a good show every week. The fans Saturday night were into the entire show. They seemed to have a good time. They seemed satisfied. They were entertained... That is what is important. GTW will be back next week with another show. They will be back the next week, and the next week, and the next week. So bash them on the boards all you want to, Haywire Jabaloney, it won't do you any good. By the way, results from the show Saturday night at GTW are up on the Wrestling News Center.

Speaking of the Wrestling News Center, I posted a story there Sunday afternoon about a shouting match that took place at OVW between CM Punk and Tony Atlas. According to the article, "Atlas was on hand evaluating the matches and had made a remark earlier in the day to Punk about his practice of heavily taping his hands and arms and told him that's not the look the office wants." Apparently, it pissed Atlas off that Punk did not remove the tape, and that led to a verbal altercation after the show. Punk loudly asked Atlas, "Do you even watch our show? Do you even know who I am?" Now, I find this entire situation a bit amusing. Atlas apparently thought Punk had a bad attitude and was disrespectful, but I think the real issue here is the fact that Atlas appears to have had no real clue who Punk really was. If this is the case, Atlas is out of touch with the current WWE product, which makes him come off as a complete dumb ass in this case. I find it odd that Atlas was even at OVW "evaluating matches" in the first place if he does not even have a clue as to who one of the top WWE stars is.

It's time for YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID. While Tony Atlas might qualify for this segment, we will feature The U. S. Marshall Service. It seems that security guards refused to allow a woman into a federal courthouse until she removed a bra that triggered a metal detector.
Lori Plato said she and her husband, Owen Plato, were stunned when U.S. Marshals Service employees asked her to remove her bra after the under wire supports set off the alarm.
"I asked if I could go into the bathroom because they didn't have a privacy screen and no women security officers were available," Plato said Wednesday. "They said, 'No.' Patrick McDonald, the U.S. Marshal in Boise, said appropriate security protocols were followed in the Sept. 20 matter, and guards suggested she simply remove the bra in her car outside, or find a restaurant bathroom. Generally, McDonald said, undergarments aren't considered a danger to security. "I don't think they're considered a weapon, really, the last time I looked," he said.
He declined to discuss other ways the federal courthouse guards could have screened Plato for weapons. Plato wants the Marshals Service to apologize and stop forcing women to disrobe.
"It was very humiliating," her husband, Owen Plato, said. "They could have handled it with a much more professional attitude." Well, that WAS stupid. However, the U. S. Marshall Service may have stumbled onto something good. Federal court would be much more interesting if the women were topless... On second thought, that might be scary in some cases....

TNA's first two hour Impact is now in the history books. Now, I know TNA has taken a lot of flack about the show, and I will agree they could and should have done some things differently. The show, however, was not that bad. I actually thought Black Reign vs. Rhino would be a disaster, but it actually turned out to be a fairly decent match. I have to say that was the best Dustin Rhodes has looked in a long time. Black Reign will be a good gimmick for him. Run in after run in, however, was absolutely ridiculous. Team 3-d vs. Team Pacman was... well... OK. It was just OK. While Adam "Pacman" Jones has no business in TNA, and while his not being able to have any contact is stupid, TNA handled it in a way that was not too bad. The match was OK. There was another run in, which was not the best thing to do, but the match, for what it was, was OK. I thought the women's match was very good. Gail Kim, if pushed correctly, could be THE star in the new TNA women's division. She's that good. Of course, Jackie Moore is a great worker. Again, more run ins, which actually took away from the match. More Russo crap probably. In spite of that, it was a good match. Then we come to the gauntlet match. What was the point? There was nothing on the line, no championship, no #1 contendership, nothing. So why have a gauntlet match? The action was good, but it did seem a little rushed at times. It was not a bad match, but a gauntlet here was stupid. That was probably one of Russo's brilliant ideas. Again, for what it was, it was a decent match. The main event was OK. Rikishi is HUGE. He can hardly move. He needs to shed some major weight. I would have rather seen a good singles match here. After the gauntlet match, it just seemed like too many bodies in there for too long. But, let's face it, if they had done a singles match, it would not have stayed a singles match for long. All those guys would have just run in anyway, so screw it, put 'em all in there and let 'em go at it. Again, for what it was, it was not a bad match. The segment with Roode and Tracy Brooks arguing, then the dumb ass girl interviewers arguing was absolutely pointless and stupid, and should have been left out. I also thought the entire deal between Kurt Angle and Sting was dumb. How come Sting didn't just call the cops? With all its flaws, however, it was not a bad show. It was nothing spectacular, but not bad either. On a scale of 1 to 10, I would give it a 6.5.

For anyone who missed the show, here are match results:

Rhino defeated Black Reign. Gail Kim defeated Jackie Moore. Team Pacman (Ron Killings & Pacman Jones) defeated Team 3D (Brother Ray & Brother Devon) by DQ.
10-Man Gauntlet Match: Eric Young defeated James Storm. The other participants were Kaz, Robert Roode, Petey Williams, Jimmy Rave, Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley, Lance Hoyt, and Chris Harris. Samoa Joe, Junior Fatu, & LAX (Homicide & Hernandez) defeated The Christian Coalition (Christian Cage & AJ Styles), & Triple X (Christopher Daniels & Senshi).

The following post was made on the Mid-Southern Wrestling message board on October 4:

"Sean Evans passed away on Tuesday, October 2, losing a long battle with lung cancer, despite never smoking a day in his life - second-hand smoke presumed to be the catalyst. He was 36. Sean wrestled for numerous Georgia groups over the years, including Wildside, as well as short stints in both ECW and, on a per appearance enhancement basis, WWE. When you get a chance, wish a nice thought and tip a glass for one of wrestling's hopelessly nice guys and one of its most nimble and accommodating, if unheralded, performers." I met Sean Evans briefly on two occasions, and saw him work on several occasions, and he did indeed seem like a nice guy. RIP, Sean Evans, and thanks for the memories.

The next segment of the interview with The Stud, Scott Porteau, will be up in a day or two on this site. Check it out at "In the Spotlight."

That's all for now. If you have any feedback, criticism, compliments, or whatever, email me at axemanchopchop@yahoo.com.